I Hunt Killers

Title: I Hunt Killers
Author: Barry Lyga
Pub: 2012; Little Brown & Company
Pages: 361
Genre: Young Adult, Horror, Series, Suspense

I FREAKIN' LOVED THIS BOOK.  

Seriously.  It was amazing and got me all creeped out in this most-excellent-stephen-king-meets-criminal-minds sorta way.

I want everyone to read this book.  Well, everyone who is slightly warped and okay with criminal profiling and sociopathic behavior etcetera etcetera.

Jazz is seventeen years old and lives with his going-nuts grandma in a sleepy small town in nowheresville.  It would be all lame and normal except Jazz's father is in prison.  Yup.  He's the notorious serial killer, Billy Dent, known for killing over 100 women.  And even more perverse?  Billy raised Jazz to think like a serial killer, prepped him to follow in his footsteps.  Jazz grew up keeping his dad's trophies organized and the details of the murderous acts filed away in his mind for safe keeping.  Plus Billy made a point of bestowing words of wisdom, such as: the easiest way to remove evidence of a body (cut it up? use chemicals?); the importance of paying attention to that last breath, and slicing a body is just like slicing chicken.  Um, ew.

Jazz wakes up every morning reminding himself that people are real; they feel things.

This novel is a brilliant look at a nearing adult fighting against his nature AND nurture.  He's a pro at manipulation.  He was trained by the best.  He constantly hears dear ole dad's voice in his head and he has to hush his nightmares that are part memories part fears.

And as if that wouldn't be enough to write about THE IMPRESSIONIST shows up.  A new serial killer paying  homage to Billy and Jazz is determined to figure out who the killer is even if the town thinks he might be the prime suspect.

Also.  He has help.  This wonderful side-kick best friend, Howie, who is classic nerd with a hemophilia issue.  Perhaps not the best man to go into fighting crime with, but he's uber loyal and has a crazy cool sarcastic sense of humor.  Oh and then there's Connie, Jazz's girlfriend.  She's a hit or miss with me.  I mean, she's definitely well written.  Her need to show Jazz that he's not his father is SO typical of a teenage girl right?  But, you know, even though I'm sure I would totally have been Connie in the same situation, it sorta irks me knowing that and wishing that instead I'd have been more you have issues so deal with them and come to me when you're over it you freak, which she kinda does, but not really.

I got this book from the library but desperately want to go out and purchase my own copy and reread it.  Especially because it's a - wait for it....wait for it - part in a SERIES.  (Betcha didn't see that one coming, huh?)  Don't let that sway you though.  Run out and buy this book!

(!) Dueling Monsters Reviews (!)

This is the first year that I've participated in the Dueling Monsters even and let me tell you how much fun it was.  [Shout out to Trish and Jill and the Estella Society!]

The two monsters competing?  Hannibal Lector in Red Dragon and Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.  So, who's the most monstrous?!

Here's the thing...initially I would want to say Mr. Lector, hands down because you know, he EATS people and all.  But there's something sick and twisted about a sociopathic killer.  (Also, after reading Red Dragon, I was more freaked out by the Tooth Fairy than anything else).


 











Title: Red Dragon

Author:  Thomas Harris

Pub: Dutton Adult; 2000

Pages: 368

Genre: Crime, Thriller, Suspense

So there's this serial killer referred to as "The Tooth Fairy" and his schtick is to ritualistically kill families and bite the women.  The FBI seeks out Graham, who has been living a low-key kinda retirement since he had a run in with Hannibal Lector.  There's not many deets in what happened to Graham when he first took down Lector, other than it appears as if the mad crazy cannibal had attempted to eat him.  Graham must confront his issthues that still haunt him and ask HL for help.  Of course, it's not as though hanging out with HL is all fun and games and kittens.  (He'd probably eat them too given the opportunity).

The story with the Tooth Fairy was frightening.  I admit that the procedural passages bored me because that's just not my thing, but when I was reading the actual inside-the-head of The Tooth Fairy with that all "hey he could be that person I work with who was always just a little off" had me spooked.  More than any other horror books.

As far as the Dueling Monsters point - most devilish thing that Lector did? Finding out where Graham lived and sending evil his way.  

Also, I just did some snooping and evidently Red Dragon The Movie wasn't the first adaptation to the book; Manhunter was.  I searched for it on Neflix but unfortunately it's not streamlined.  

 



Title: American Psycho
Author: Bret Easton Ellis
Pub: Vintage; 1991
Pages: 416
Genre: Suspense, Thriller, Horror

I wish that I could totally blame reading this book on Fizzy Jilly but I can't.  Truth be told, I've had this book on my shelves for nearly a year now and the Dueling Monsters event was the little bit of nudge that I needed to actually pick it up and read it.

Unfortunately because of THAT I have these graphic and horrible and gnarly images seared to my brain's eye.  Seriously.  There were parts of this book that made me so squeamish I had to set it down - a feat that has NEVER occurred and I've read Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door.

Because of the visceral reaction that I had, this book hands down earns a moment in literary brilliance.  I cannot look anyone in the face and say that Ellis cannot write or that this book isn't gripping.  BUT in the same sentence, I would repeatedly encourage the person to run far away from this novel and forewarn them that after reading this you will feel uber dirty.

American Psycho is a candid walk in the mind of psychotic Patrick Bateman.  If he's not comparing business cards and discussing the morning talk shows with his yuppie friends from Wall Street, he's working out, commenting on hard bodies, or offing bums and prostitutes.

It's a downward spiral.  I  mean, you actually see Bateman fall further into psychosis with each horrid sexual fantasy, killing fantasy, or sociopathic act.  Ellis creates images that shows like Criminal Minds imply. 

Ellis is a mastermind at exposing society at its worst.  Anyone remember Less Than Zero or Rules of Attraction? I mean, it's his THING.  And he does it magnificently.  He is not someone I would want to go out drinking with, but am happy that he is using his pen for his obvious need to release something wicked in his brain. 

_______________________________
The Dueling Monsters Verdict?

Definitely hands down #teambateman. I mean, seriously, Bateman comes across as this nice guy (or at least it appears that way) but in truth is a big ole wackadoo.

Anna Dressed in Blood (Audio)

Title: Anna Dressed in Blood
Author: Kendare Black
Narrator: August Ross
Pub: 2011; Tor Teen
Length: 8 hours and 43 minutes
Pages: 316
Genre: Young Adult; Horror; Paranormal

This book was FREAKIN' scary.  Like, had I read this in my tweens, I would have been as scared as reading any promising Stephen King book.  Y'know how most YA paranormal or "horror" books just allude to the scary scenes.  Like, maybe someone gets murdered and they tell that it happens and that there was some blood and the PEOPLE were scared.  And that's it.  Cut scene. Move on.

Anna Dressed in Blood does NOT do that.  Nope.  Black does not hold back.  She let's it all gush out.  There's bludgeoning and purging and blood and decaying flesh.  Do you get it?  This book is not for the faint of heart.

And it's a series? There's going to be more?  Can't wait.

So the scoop. 

Cas is a ghost hunter.  He sorta inherited the job from his dad (and a long legacy, I've gathered).  Outside of ghost hunting he's also into avenging his father, who happened to get murdered by a ghost.  Cas and his mom travel to a new town to find Anna Dressed in Blood.  Legend is she was murdered on her way to her school dance.  Now, she resides in her old decrepit house, killing sqauters or whoever else gets in her path. [Um and she SERIOUSLY kills them.  Enter the gore].

This town separates Cas's other experiences because he forms friendships and falls in love.  So there's more than ghost hunting going on here.

The mystery behind the ghost wasn't very mysterious but it didn't matter.  The gore.  Can I stress that enough?

Let's talk about the audio aspect...

It sucked.  Thankfully the story kept me entertained because if this had been one of those mediocre books the narrator would have just put the knife in it.  The voice was nasaly and there were few differentiation with the characters...EXCEPT for Anna's voice, which was suppose to have an accent - I think.  But instead, it was just a tragic mockery.  I hope that the narrator has a day job because I don't think audio books will pay the bills.

The ABC's of The Stand

How else do you deal with a 1200 page book that would be IMPOSSIBLE to review coherently? Make an aphabetical list, of course.

...and if this wasn't obvs - there will in fact most likely have spoilers.

Abigail  ~ wait did I spell that correctly? Who knows.  But she's a kind soul even if a wee bit of a zealot. And also, how many of you craved chicken after she made it?

Baby can you dig your man?

Captain Trips.  Sounds like cereal doesn't it?  Swallow down some bubonic plague and ya'll come back now ya hear?

Doctor.  If I had to do this life again, I highly recommend studying medicine.  Who was the minor character that ended up offing herself when the fake-wedded-hubs died of appendicitis.  Anyway, she makes a point by saying: look, we can all chit chat around the campfire but NONE of us have any real-life skills outside of being smart and able to BS.

End of humanity might just end up how this book did.  Kaboom.

Flagg is a fantastic Evil Man.  He preys on the weak and either converts them or destroys them.  And crucifixion?  Man, I'd stay away far away from your bad side.

Goverment sucks.  Seriously.  First they create this detrimental-to-human-health-disease, then when it freakin' gets out of control they want to shoot down any and every witness/victim/each other?  Wicked man.  And not in the cool sense.

Harold I want to beat your face in.  Truly.  You are one of those people who just wise up a wee bit too late for it to even be forgivable.  Seriously.  I get that people made fun of you, Harold.  I totally understand that there are some craptastic punks out in the world.  I teach Middle School for chrissakes.  But Harold, you take the cake when it comes to sniveling and selfish weaklings.  I'd probably have picked on you too, truth be told.

Investigative Free Zoners move into the Dark Man's territory.  How hard was it to watch poor mentally deficient Tom go into the bad land, but also old man Glenn?  Oh my gosh, I just wanted to hug them both.

Jealousy, not just a song sung by the Gin Blossoms.  There was tons of that going on wasn't there?  Nadine was jealous of Lucy.  And then she was jealous of Joe.  Harold was jealous of Stu.   Lesson learned.  It all ends up badly.

Kojak!  (Heh, thought I'd go all obvious here and say King, didinja?) Nope. Kojak was one mofo of a dog.  He not only hoofed it on his own following the crew, he beat of the evil Bad Man, and then shared his perspective on life in the wild for a couple of pages.  Doggy treat for you buddy.

Larry, oh Larry.  You walked into my world quite honestly being one of the biggest arses that I had ever met.  Did I date you Larry?  But in the long run, Larry, you showed the most growth.  Indeed, King did something special with you didn't he?  You my dear could have walked out of the pages and lived in our world today.

M-O-O-N spells I love you man.

Nick.  Let's pretend that you have all of your teeth AND your eye, yes?

Oil isn't going to be the death of us?  We got it wrong folks.  It's all good.  Also, the pilgrimage is not all the way to the Middle East.  It appears that side of the world doesn't have to worry about the bad man.

Pilgrimage.  This was one epic pilgrimage, folks.  First, group A had to get to location C and then hoof it to area G all the while hoping that they didn't run into group B while they were trekking all the way to section I (as in I hate all of your guts and am gonna burn you down), which means that of course group A had to meander over to section I to make sure the burning down didn't happen.

Quick pick up that man's face from the cereal.  Really?  That's where my focus would be?  I'd be gagging left and right in that military facility with all of those dead bodies.

Retch-worthy scenes.  You know what I'm talking about.  That whole love triangle between Trashcan Man, The Kidd, and the gun.

Stu, if I wasn't already in a loving relationship, will you marry me? I promise I won't get knocked up by another man and then wait to tell you (and anyone else) for a few months WHILE THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.

Top Ten list Stephen King made about the remake of the movie, The Stand, waaaaay back in 2011.  Here's hoping we see it soon because the television series?  Did you want some pasta with that cheese?

Uncut.  Really King?  You could have STILL included Frannie and her evil-momster and that psychopath The Kidd without adding another FOUR HUNDRED pages to this book.

Vegas.  Was anyone else NOT shocked by this choice of location for the evil-doers.  It sorta bugged me that King would choose such an obvious state. 

Well done, Mr. King.  You have now made me aware that each time I get the sniffles I'm gonna worry about that Captain Trips.  Maybe I can tell my students about it and warn them that's what happens when they don't wash their hands in the bathroom.  Mainly, I'm looking at you, my stinky seventh grade boys.

Xanxex is exactly what I would be pocketing from the pharmacy in every town I visited to deal with this shizat.  Also do you think anyone in the Free Zone will become xenophobic knowing that a group was trying to kill them?  [What there are few x-words that can be used here, folks. I collecting dimes.]

Yeah, I was okay when Frannie's mom got the bad disease and kicked the bucket.  If there was one person in the novel that I got to know that I felt no pity for, it was her.  What a grotesque mother.

Zebras?  Captain Trips took the horses, but what about the zebras?  Could we train zebras in the same way that we've domesticated horses?  *thinking*

Well Trish, it's been real.  Who's up for reading It next? *grin*

Bloody Chester

Title:  Bloody Chester
Author: JT Petty; Illustrated: Hilary Florido
Pub: First Second; 2012
Pages: 160
Genre: Comics, Western, Horror
Etc: Props up to Netgalley and the publishers!

Ghost towns don't always
have dead people haunting them.
The truth might be worse. 

Lady Kate, also known as Chester, is the town goober.  If there were bully books written back in these western times they would use Chester as the symbol of boy bullied.  Sitting in a saloon guzzling beer, the next thing you know poor Chester is kambuzzled and thrown out.  Rather than fight back, he just makes weak jokes.  This is his life and this is what he accepts.

Until a prominent official in the little town offers him a proposition - go to a neighboring town and burn it down.  It seems as though the folks there have decided that there are some zombie lurking ghosts haunting the area and it's all preventing the future of the railroad.  Chester shakes his hand and sets off on his horse (also named Chester) to do the deed.

But, once there, life in the ghost town is not always what it seems.  First he meets an interesting lass named who he falls for.  Unfortunately, she has a crazy pop (don't they all) that he must contend with first.

I hardly want to give away too many details because it's truly in unraveling that makes this comic so much fun.

Bloody Chester is multi-layered and as each film is peeled away you will have another Aha! moment.  Fun times and enjoyable drawings.